This past year has been a wild ride, and I apologize for the lengthy time between the last post and now. I have a beautiful 8-month-old baby boy, Emmanuel Sterling. He's sweet, energetic, lively, cuddly, and incredibly adorable. :) I'm a very proud momma of the finest two boys I know. Dominick is the best big brother, and is always making Manny laugh, comforting him when he cries, shares his toys and gives lots of hugs. Manny adores Big Brother Dom, and they are going to be inseparable lifelong friends. I already know.
Francisco and I are still together and still growing, learning, adapting, changing, hopefully always for the better. I have gained much insight the past few months on true love, and what it really means to love and be loved. Most of our world bases love around physicality, how fast the heart races when one is near, how easy she is on the eyes, the way he makes her feel, etc. But love is far beyond all that. Real love is a partnership to which two caring people are deeply committed. These people share many basic values, interests, and goals. They tolerate good-naturedly their individual differences. The depth of love is measured by the mutual trust and respect they feel for each other. Their relationship allows each to be more fully expressive, creative, and productive in the world. There is much joy in shared experiences both past and present, as well as those that are anticipated. Each views the other as his/her dearest and most cherished friend. Another measure of the depth of love is the willingness to look honestly at oneself in order to promote the growth of the relationship and the deepening of intimacy. Associated with real love are feelings of serenity, security, devotion, understanding, companionship, mutual support, and comfort.
A classic example of this agape kind of love is Tony Robbins and his wife, Sage. In the recent interview with Oprah, it was clearly obvious they had this amazing, beautiful, rich, deep, boundless love for each other, stemming from the mutual respect that agape love thrives on. It made me cry, watching them interact. It was beautiful beyond words.
Looking back on my life, I can see that there has been one common thread running through it. A dominant thread that ran through all my major decisions, affecting the outcome of my life and the direction of the course I have taken. It all boiled down to one preeminent desire- to love and be loved in return. Not having loved myself, it was impossible to make healthy decisions because my desire to be loved was selfish and unquenchable. I have finally embraced the gift of love- for myself, for God, for all humankind, for nature, and for Truth. And it has completely and radically changed me. I no longer binge. I no longer sleep all morning. I no longer sit in the chair all day watching the world pass me by. I no longer resent my husband's inadequacies. I no longer hate myself and everything about myself. I no longer avoid the Truth or the Light. I no longer starve myself. I no longer abuse any part of my life. I have found a balance in everything I do and say. And it is the richest, most profound gift I have ever received and given forward.
I now have a burning desire to teach women how to love themselves, how to embrace the gift of who they are. We are all unique, special, worthy, beautiful, and irreplacable in our own ways. Until we learn to accept our flaws and celebrate our assets, until we discover the art of forgiveness and the power of love, we will never be the mothers, wives, and leaders that God created us to be. The ability to be a diva, a princess, a queen, is there. We simply need to open our hearts up, let the Light in, stop lying to ourselves, forgive and forgive and forgive, and rise up to be called Blessed.